Monday, 28 May 2012

10 minute write


First thing on my mind...Love. I guess because I'm in it as we speak. It has been probably the most wonderful,chaotic,thing I have ever experienced. I am no longer a teenager...I am a 36 year old recycled teenager. I hate that I have to tick off the next box in the age category for surveys! So as an adult who has already been a party to a young marriage that ended in divorce...I have let's say "some experience". I have only had one other relationship besides my ex husband which lasted about 2 years. It was a nightmare and it ended and I am happy about that. 
I never thought I would allow another man into my life in the way of love.It hurt too much. I decided to ward off men until...well until it was too late. I lasted over a year of being a single mother and dating somewhat.I always knew the few I dated never meant anything because I created a wall to protect myself then it happened. I met him...the one guy I had been constantly telling myself to avoid. He took me completely by surprise. I unlocked the door and let him in...just a little at first.He had a great smile and made me smile so I got a little comfy. It's now been almost 7 months! Hook, line and sinker! I still battle with the what ifs and the worrying about getting a broken heart never fails. I just made the decision one day to let it all go.Worse case scenerio...I get hurt...and I survive and learn. 
Looking back now...I can't believe I missed out on some great people by closing myself off. Now I know that I have learned and grown and healed by allowing myself to just be. I made myself complete before I met him.I believe this makes it so much easier as an adult in a relationship. To really know yourself...love yourself and accept yourself. In order to love someone else and respect them you have to have it for yourself first. So starts my journey of love. He amazes me.He has taught me what true love really is supposed to feel like. He is my best friend. We are being patient and we are discovering each other slowly. Best decision I ever made! Live Life Truthfully :)

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